Why I Blog

3 years ago, I was a new dentist, a newly wed, and a newbie to the traveling baseball circus. Tom and I had been married only 4 months, my dad had just survived a life threatening illness, and we decided that life was too short not to spend our newlywed days together. So, I found myself living 700 miles from “home” in a 2 bedroom apartment in Rhode Island with a husband who was gone 15 out of every 30 days. Tom was new to a team so we didn’t have a single “friend” and it was snowing in April. Sounds like every girls newly-wed dream huh?

This was the first time I thought about blogging. Blogs were kind of new to the scene and it seemed that only celebrities had blogs. I wanted to feel like I was still connected to my friends and family back home. It felt as though I abruptly left everything I had known my entire life. My huge friend base (high school, college, and grad school) as well as my family, who at the time were recovering from the most traumatic event you can’t dream up in your wildest dreams. So I thought I would blog. About what? I wasn’t sure. But I was desperate to feel some connection to the people I loved. So, I pitched my idea to my sister-in-law who thought it was awesome and came up with my blog name 😉 I always called ourselves the “traveling circus” and that’s what I was going to write about. Well….Tom wasn’t too sure about the idea. Like I said, blogging was new to the social media scene and all he could imagine was me exploiting his daily antics or airing our dirty laundry. He didn’t know what, or more importantly who, I would write about. So the blog idea stayed just that…an idea. I got my dental license in Massachusetts, we got our first baby Charlie, and I made some of the best friends of my life that summer.

Ok – so fast forward 2 years and I’m again in a new city (Boston this time), not working as a dentist, and staying at home with a new born. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be a SAHM. Sad to say, but I never desired to be at home with my baby 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. And especially not away from friends and family. So truthfully, I found myself in a bit of a slump. I was under stimulated by being at home. Do not get me wrong —- being a SAHM is the hardest job you will EVER have. However, it didn’t require critical thinking skills and my brain was bored. I also felt disconnected, once again. I didn’t have many friends who were living the SAHM life and I truly didn’t know what to do with myself. As crazy as it sounds, because raising kids is the MOST important job you will ever do, I felt like I didn’t have a purpose. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I didn’t know who to talk to about it. I had never imagined being a SAHM and didn’t know many people doing it.

About the same time, I met one of my dearest friends in the baseball world. A true, genuine soul who is wise FAR beyond her years. Her and I would have deep, REALLY DEEP, heartfelt conversations about life, love, tragedy, kids, husbands, parents, you name it! And the more we talked the more she encouraged me to put my thoughts out there for the world. Wait….WHAT? You want me, Meghan Layne, to put my deep dark feelings out there for the world to read? A girl from an insanely small town in NC, a girl with a professional career, a girl whose husband plays major league baseball, a girl whose family has recently gained insane exposure (thanks to my amazing dad). You want THAT GIRL to put her feelings out there for people to criticize. Ha ha. I don’t think so. So this same friend turned me on to a few influential IG accounts. Women who didn’t just post cute pics of their kids or fashion. But women who posted deep, thought provoking messages. And I was hooked. I would stay up all night reading these posts and feeling like I was connected…connected to a complete stranger. As strange as that sounds, its true.

So, I would stay up all night reading and writing potential blog posts on my computer…almost like a journal. Too terrified to ever publish them, but just getting my thoughts on “paper.” Thoughts that I shared with a few friends who confirmed that they too connected with what I was saying.

Ok – so fast forward a few months, Parker is approaching 1 year old and we’ve been on almost 20 flights in her first year of life…all but 2 were just me and her. And I started to get messages from friends and acquaintances on IG and Facebook. People were asking for travel advice. This soon became a more frequent occurrence and I realized what was normal in my life (throwing your clan on a plane and jet setting all over America) was not normal to everyone else. And apparently I was putting enough of myself out there on social media that people felt comfortable asking for advice. So there it was….the perfect bridge for my blog. I felt comfortable writing practical tips and helpful hints to other mommas. This wasn’t just a personal online journal to share with the world.

***However, I must throw in this disclaimer. In the few short months that I’ve been “blogging”, I have found that I get exponentially more feedback from other women when I post my deep, dark heartfelt thoughts! When I expose myself to the world, being open and honest, vulnerable for ridicule…people love it! I will get messages from complete strangers on IG saying “thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling” or “I can totally relate” or “good luck momma”. And honestly – the world needs more of this! The world needs more women saying “I’m not perfect! I don’t love being at home with my kids every day! I don’t feel fulfilled by X, Y, Z. I never imagined life with kids would be this hard.” ETC. We need to be REAL HUMANS! Not perfect social media icons or false images of a life that is totally unobtainable and unrealistic. And I truly think that if we were all a little more vulnerable and HONEST…the world would be a better place. ***

Ok – So after months of saying “I’m starting a blog” I finally pulled the trigger. I purchased a theme from an ETSY shop, purchased my website domain, found an online host, and attempted to figure out WordPress. I’ll never forget last Sept we were in Baltimore and Tom stayed up half the night with me trying to sort through WordPress. We were both on YouTube separately watching videos trying to figure it out. He quickly gave up (which is NOT his personality at all) and I trudged on. For months and months. Until my SoLayne Designs assistant forced me to launch my blog in Feb {sometimes we all need a little nudge 😉 }

And my blog is not in any way what I want it to be. I honestly don’t like the theme (I had NO CLUE what I was buying when I bought it). My photos aren’t professional enough for me. And I don’t have time to post as frequently as I’d like. But its a work in progress and it’s my corner of the internet to do whatever the heck I want! And that’s a pretty cool feeling!!

So here are a few of the questions I’ve gotten lately from friends:

1. Is blogging a lot of work? Blogging is work! Or at least for me it is! And maybe I just take things way too seriously and put way too much time into each post. Especially the heart felt ones that aren’t just a cute outfit pic (like this one). Setting up the blog was the hardest thing I’ve ever done! If you are a tech savvy person its probably a breeze. But it honestly took me months to figure it out and now I don’t even like it ha ha ha. So the big bloggers out there who put out content every single day…yea that’s a full time job. I think this depends on what you want your blog to be about. If you are posting recipes, factual info, that might take less time to write. Which brings me to question #2…
2. What do you blog about? ANYTHING YOUR LITTLE HEART DESIRES! This one took me a long time to grasp. I felt like my blog had to be “about” something (hence why I didn’t publish it until I felt like I had “tips” to offer). But lets face it…everyone has a blog these days! You can honestly write about ANYTHING you’d like to write about. Your travels. Local restaurants in your area. Crafts you do with your kids. Your favorite recipes. Fashion tips and trends or current sales. Your deep dark feelings or revelations about life. ANYTHING! This is the beautiful thing about the generation we are living in…people are nosy! People want to know everything about other people! Ummmm HELLO….reality TV! We are all nosy ass people! Ha ha. And people want to feel validated in their feelings, travel experiences, crafts with their kids, recent fashion purchases, and meals we cook for our families. The world we live in is driven by social media. People want to see what other people are buying, eating, wearing, and doing. And thats awesome! Because I truly believe we are learning from each other! Whenever we want to know ANYTHING we turn to Google. And more than likely, Google will take you to someones blog post. Even on Pinterest…most every single recipe you Pin is linked to someones blog. So I’m personally thankful for all the strangers in the world who put anything and everything on the internet!! My family would starve if they didn’t!!
3. How did you choose WordPress as your platform? At the time (over a year ago) when I started this gig, WordPress came highly recommended. I did some research on YouTube and Google and found TONS of resources for WordPress. However, I’ve recently heard a lot of buzz about SquareSpace. It seems to be insanely user friendly and allows you to run anything from a business to a blog. They may be my next adventure…
4. Can you make money blogging? YES! You totally can! And a lot of people do! But I’m not a good person to ask. ha ha. I’m still SO new to this game and haven’t been to any blogging conventions or seminars to learn the ins and outs of that. But I do know that a lot of people make good money blogging. You can become an affiliate with certain companies where you get a VERY small commission for sales off your site. And you can also get direct payment from companies in exchange for a product and a blog post about it. In other words – educating the world on awesome products that you love! I’m part of a few mom blogger groups on IG and a lot of them are really knowledgable in this department! Much better than I am. If I learn more about this I will be happy to share!
5. What is your favorite thing about blogging? Connections! Hands down! The connections that I’ve made with new people and the ones I’ve maintained or even boosted from years past. The minute you proclaim yourself as a “blogger” there is an entire world of people out there who you will be connected with. And as strange as it sounds, you will make actual friendships with people via social media. You will be grouped together with women who are similar to you. Women who want to share their lives with the world. Women who understand social media and your objectives with it. It is so cool to suddenly be exposed to THOUSANDS of women. Not just the 30 at your neighborhood pool or church group. If you think about it, there are millions of humans in the world. Who is to say that you will connect MOST with the people in the 20 mile radius around your house? And that’s the beautiful thing about social media. It exposes you to the world. I’ll be honest….at first I thought it was strange to make friendships with strangers. I have a gazillion friends from all walks of my life. Why would I need/want any more? Well guess what…I’ve absolutely LOVED getting to know mommas via IG and blogger groups! I’ve had 2 IRL meet ups with other mom bloggers and one in the works. I have a group of mommas who I text with DAILY! How fun is that!!! I’ve also been able to maintain relationships with friends and family back home because they are able to follow along with our families journey. I like for our friends to know what we’re doing and I don’t always have time to text everyone. I’ve also seen friendships that were from high school or college come back around. Once people feel like they know the you NOW or what you have going on beyond a grid of pictures on IG, they feel comfortable to reach out and reconnect. So connections are by far the best part for me! When we are moving around here, there, and everywhere and I don’t always have a “friend”…I feel like I’m not alone (and yes I know that sounds corny).

And here are two of my biggest tips for anyone thinking about blogging:

1. Don’t compare yourself to the big bloggers you’ve been following for years. They make it look so easy! But remember… they’ve put years into this! At this point they probably have a professional photographer or even a person who proof reads their content. They may even have an assistant who does their posting and linking. I’m not saying these are bad things! Because they are probably making money doing this and its now a job! So just don’t bother comparing yourself to those people. And remember that they all started somewhere.
2. Put yourself out there. Go out of your comfort zone. When I first started this I was TERRIFIED. Honestly! I had/have blog posts written for months and wouldn’t publish them. I kept thinking (and still do most days)…who the HAY wants to read what I have to say? Why do people care what I’m suggesting? Who said that I should be the one putting my thoughts/opinions/suggestions out there on the internet? But guess what…someone cares! And its more people than you think! And I bet you are reading someone else’s blog about their recent trip to the zoo…so why can’t you write about your trip to the zoo? No matter what season of your life, there is someone out there who will feel validated in their feelings or decisions just by reading YOUR post! Just by knowing that one other human in the world is dealing with the same thing. No one wants to do this walk alone! So just go for it!

Send me any questions, big or small, that you might have about blogging, my blog, or anything you want to see featured on the blog.

XO
Meghan